Cat+Water=poodle cat

Cats born pre-drowned.

This right here, this is a "poodle cat". 

I had this cat once, only it was a stuffed animal that got washed and dried too much. But it looked just like this, except without the eyes that say " I will kill you all."
Funny thing, since "poodle" means "puddle" this really is just a drowned cat.

Poodle cats have been accepted as a breed, which is a big deal because cats don't have a lot of real"breeds" just colors and coat lengths. Thus, cat owners can't get too fancy about their cats, unlike dog owners. I imagine cat shows are like cats themselves sort of "Fuck it, whose the prettiest." Which makes a dog show the Miss America pageants and cat shows the Miss USA. This especially makes sense when you realize the the owner of Miss USA, Donald Trump, has had a dead Cat on his head for several years.

Back on task:

The official name is Selkirk Rex which keeps shifting in my sight and looking like Skrillex.

They are like poodles except you can tell them apart is a few ways. I made a pictorial guide and a handy list of characteristi to put in your pocket. A sort of field guide so next time you run into a small kinky haired domesticated mammal and aren't sure if it's a poodle dog or poodle cat, you don't have to exercise any critical thinking- just observational skills. This chart has a 95% confidence of helping you tell the difference. The other 5% is Brandi. She is also a small, kinky-haired domesticated animal. She, however, can have an intelligent conversation with you or sing you a fabulous song and is human so if you think it's Brandi, it probably is.

By the way, I don't own a poodle. I own the First dog and a mutt. My sister claims to own a poodle dog, but since the thing weighs 7 pounds it doesn't qualify as a real dog. Dogs must weigh at least 50 lbs before they are real. Until that point they are either really nice cats or lifelike anima-tronics.

Poodle dog

Comes when called

Probably won’t eat you if you die

One of the (purportedly) smartest dog

Poodle cat

Couldn't give a shit if you call it

Will wait until your body cools or the kibble runs out or for you to stop crying about being stabbed before it eats your dead body (makes nightly checks to see if you are edible and alive)

One of the most useless cats.